My month of grieving over selling my education business is over. I’m un-draping my mirrors, declaring email bankruptcy, allowing news back in the room and re-applying moderation standards.

Separating my identity from my work life is tough.

We all give advice. I try hard to only give it when asked and I like to think I am consistent. In this one particular instance I wish I took my own advice.

“If you don’t get paid, you don’t have a job.”

I’ve told that to dozens of people who aren’t sure if they should stay with a job in the hopes things turn around. I thought things would turn around. Updating my website and offering online content slowed the descent, but I never got back those paychecks I missed.

The point isn’t about my work-life, but advice. If it is good enough for your friends, heed it yourself.

Sunday and I’m miserable; single, about to be unemployed.

Monday and I’m OK; still single, about to be unemployed.

Nothing in the larger world has changed. I got a little exercise, I helped someone learn something, I cleaned up my kitchen and did a little laundry. Nothing changed, but suddenly I could be with myself.

After a fine day I received a little information that made everything right in the world. I was still still single, about to be unemployed, but an unexpected encounter made me awfully happy.

It doesn’t take much: an invitation to an informal interview, a check-in from a stranger in China, a command to appear for a fitness test. Hope is the fuel for imagination. I could teach people how to teach employees to fry chicken, help automate mapping software for utilities, teach conversational English, or become a deputy sheriff.

We can spread hope around with an encouraging word or a smile. I’m not sure it is changing the world, but a little hope changes my thoughts and outlook, which is my world.

I listened to a story about the expansion of UGA’s football stadium. Two years and $185m. I could use a little of that. I like to think I could make better use of those funds.

Is this what ‘red staters” think when they hear $185m for the National Endowment for the Arts?

What an amazing world. A personal finance author I read has turned his talent into a much larger company. Good for him, great for him. At 9pm I sat through an hour long presentation for a “course” which will net me my dream job, at the best possible wage. If it would work, it would be a bargain at twice the price. UGG, I can’t believe the first bit, defining what you want to do, would work.

It is all about the story. The truth is cold, un-moving and doesn’t contain the future. The truth says we live infinitesimally short lives on a tiny rock in an inhospitable universe. The story says: “All of us have special ones who have loved us into being.” (Mr. Rodgers 1997) Change the story and you change your world. Do you have enough to save and share, or are you just getting by? The actual amount doesn’t have to change. A better story can lift your burden and it can be pretty quick.

He is the kind of Facebook poster who will re-post the garbage about winning an iPhone or the free $50 coupon from Chick-fil-A. Why did I even for a second believe his claim the KKK is recruiting at the local Wal-Mart by tying a white handkerchief around the mirror on their truck? I started looking for the signs. Of course there weren’t any trucks adorned with handkerchiefs. I haven’t seen a handkerchief in years; do they even sell them anymore? But, it seemed, part of me wanted to believe the world is a dangerous and hateful place. Yes, the klan is bad, it exists, and says terrible things; but didn’t my expectation just add to the crappy atmosphere in 2017?

While completing a test given by a potential employer, I noticed they talked a lot about mentors. “If you were stuck would you turn to A. Friends, B. Supervisor, C. Mentor, D. Just work it out yourself”.

I used to lament my lack of having a mentor. Then I realized I have one, just a terrible one. He holds few values in common with me, is generally stuck in the past, and generally disrespects education. I didn’t choose this mentor, it just kind of happened. You probably have a mentor and it might not be the best choice.

The article is a little dated https://www.outsideonline.com/2006426/americas-best-towns-2015 but it is getting a second look thanks to the Red and Black re-publishing the article. This may be part of why it is so difficult to easily find a new job here. It is a crazy fun and kind of cheap town. I found out three positions I applied for were also sought after by utterly more qualified people I wouldn’t think were interested in those positions. Despair is an option, moving is an option, and upping my game is an option. I choose all three, in appropriate doses and at the appropriate time.